Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Developing Longterm Policies Instead of Making Annual Resolutions

January is almost over and it's time to check in and see how well you are doing with your New Year's resolutions! HAHAHA, no, I am totally kidding. It's not time for that at all. Please don't do that. In fact, I don't really make New Year's resolutions any more. As I've blogged about before, turning over the calendar year doesn't mean as much to me as my semester schedule does. That's why I keep lists of major and minor things I want to accomplish each semester rather than things I want to do "this year."

I also take advice from fortune cookies. And a band-aid.
Yes, that  fortune on the bottom left really does say "Do onto others as you wish others to do onto you."
Excellent advice, I find. 
I do, however, take the occasion of the New Year to revisit my POLICIES list, which contains aspirational items such as I do not waste food, and I take at least one day off from work each week. Ladies and gentlemen, I am not always able to abide by these policies, but I do my best. And at least annually, I reassess. For instance, due to a changing teaching schedule, I might decide I am done with work by five each evening should more realistically be I am done with work by six each evening.

In The Great Gatsby Jay Gatsby had his list of RESOLVES back when he was still James Gatz. I do not want to be like Gatsby. Things did not turn out well for him. So I thought pretty seriously about my phrasing and decided that RULES, RESOLVES, ALWAYS, and any number of similar list headings would make me feel too discouraged whenever I slipped up. I decided on POLICIES precisely because one can negotiate them. I can think of myself as a person who is done with work by six each evening even though I might need to work until eight at particularly busy times during the semester.

This might get to a fundamental personality issue. Just as some people on a diet do better with food restrictions - "I'm not allowed to drink ANY soda" - while others do better with portion control - "No seconds for me, thanks" - so too will some people do better with absolutes in terms of behavior modification - systems such as Don't Break the Chain - while I, personally, prefer policies with wiggle room.

My POLICIES list has evolved recently, too. I have started adding things I already feel good about in addition to things I want to improve. It's nice to have a written reminder of what I feel I'm doing well and what I want to keep doing well. It reinforces that much of my energy is already directed in the way I want it to go.

Next up, I will work on making my POLICIES list beautiful and placing it somewhere visible. I find these examples inspirational.
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9 comments:

  1. UnknownJanuary 29, 2013 at 11:43 PM

    I find having attractive goal lists to be helpful and satisfying and should endeavor to do so more often

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    1. EmilyFebruary 5, 2013 at 8:18 PM

      Perhaps we should get together and drink tea and make ourselves some!

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  2. StellaJanuary 30, 2013 at 8:08 AM

    What a wide and enchanting variety of gorgeous resolutions! Though "Could always loose a few" makes me wonder, should I take cover?

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    1. EmilyFebruary 5, 2013 at 8:19 PM

      Perhaps she is speaking of loosing extraneous letters.

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  3. StellaJanuary 30, 2013 at 8:09 AM

    Also, if you ever find a weird fortune that you don't want to keep, I absolutely will take it and laminate it an use it in a quilt!

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    1. EmilyFebruary 5, 2013 at 8:20 PM

      Good to know! I generally only keep the ones that I like, so I will start keeping the rest in case you might like them more than I do. :)

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  4. UnknownJanuary 30, 2013 at 8:37 AM

    I love your bandage! I have that motto on my coffee mugs.

    I don't resolve anything either. I do have specific intentions of where I'd like to be but I also don't find the New Year to be a magical time to work on them. I break them down into things that can be accomplished gradually or incrementally and just upgrade them when I'm comfortably accomplishing the current intention. So, if I intend to eventually do 400 crunches a day five days a week, I try to do 50 a day three days a week with breaks if I need them. When I don't need breaks, I upgrade to 100 a day three days a week, or 50 a day four days a week, depending on which I feel will be easier to integrate into my life right now.

    Unlike (apparently) everyone else on the planet, I don't like to write them down, especially at the beginning. I find them overwhelming to look at when I am so far from reaching them. I also want to allow myself to change and my goals to be more fluid than they would feel written out.

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    1. UnknownJanuary 30, 2013 at 8:43 AM

      I do love the idea of policies, though, especially about things like setting limits. I would like to have a policy of not eating dinner in our bed once we have a table and chairs. And generally not doing tag sale work after 7PM. I still don't know if I could write them down because the guilt if I needed to negotiate with myself too often might be too much.

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    2. EmilyFebruary 5, 2013 at 8:22 PM

      Ali, you gave me those bandages! I love them. They are so appropriate for minor wounds.

      And I understand your point about not writing things down. I, personally, find the promise of crossing an item off a list to be a supreme motivator, but that certainly isn't universal.

      Writing down policies is a little different because I DON'T cross those off ... I think this requires more thought!

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